My Life in Words
I love to talk. Being vulnerable helps me heal. Documenting it is cathartic.
“GURLLLLL, you ain’t getting any younger!!”
Have you ever been subjected to this (not so) subtle or unwarranted piece of advice? You know, followed after intrusive questions like...are you married yet? do you have kids yet? you must not want kids?
Yah, me too. 🙋🏼♀️
Here’s what I know. You can only control how YOU react in these situations. People thoughtlessly say shit without even realizing the consequences of how their words land on others. Even if they love you. In fact we all do it. There I said it.
So, I need you to forgive them. No, I won’t shut my mouth...it’s the only way. Try explaining your truth if you feel comfortable (or if they are willing to hear it) and see how it opens their eyes. Full disclosure it may not. Sometimes we just need to talk about the hard things.
Truth is, they mean well, I know it doesn’t FEEL that what but it’s true. Our society promotes a shame shit storm. People question what they don’t understand and unfortunately we are still fighting lots of pressure to “make the right choices” so we can “live like we should”.
Don’t buy into it.
Topics like infertility, divorce, sexuality, marriage, children...and beyond are not topics of small talk. They are deeply personal issues that are different for each person. If you truly want to learn about a person ASK about their life and be willing to stick around for the whole story.
ALSO...you are NEVER to old...don’t limit yourself to your age, it’s just a number, k?
Hey babe! Do you minimize your experiences? Your work? Your passions? Your trauma? Your worth? Your life?
Do you speak (or not speak at all) about things that are important to you as if they aren’t? As if it all just happens by accident? Or it’s no big deal?
Do you dim your light in the name of not wanting to boast or be “extra”?
Listen to me right now...
STOP 🛑 THAT HUH-NEY! .
What, who, why you love your life matters. In fact in inspires other to do the same. Sharing your wins shows others that the mountain you climbed...can be climbed.
My challenge for us all...work on being so authentically YOU that it inspires others to be so authentically THEM.
We are different. We are powerful in our own ways. We matter. All of us.
Stop minimizing...today. If you have anyone in your life that “makes you feel like” you need to minimize yourself...I’d bet my life that THEY are the ones who NEED to watch you rise the most.
Obedience is the sister of faith...follow her she knows best.
This phrase is equal parts magical and devastating. It reminds us how little control we have over the journey of our lives.
Raise your hand if your faith has ever been tested?! You aren’t alone, friend. Welcome to the club.
I get it, walking blindly into something you have ZERO guarantees on...well, its why most people don’t do it. But God. So, do it anyway. .
Walking with obedience sounds good until we realize what it truly means. Friends let me be clear, we aren’t “walking in faith” if we are trying to control the path. Better yet WE DO NOT CONTROL THE PATH.
Listen babe, I know it’s scary to change your life. What if I fail? What if all the awful things I can come up with, actually happen? What if...??
Truth is. You might fail. You might fall hard. You might get your heartbroken.
BUT who you become ALONG THE WAY is EVERYTHING! You are really one faith-filled, obedient decision away from a totally different life.
So...take the trip, start the “side-business”, refresh that blog, move to a brand new city, seek help for why you are “trying” for a baby and it’s “just not happening”, become your own boss...dream out loud AND THEN say NO to anything that isn’t serving the mission.
How are you going to practice obedience today? I’m starting with a fresh bible study...you can check it out =====> It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered...
Let me know if you do?? Or share your favorite practices with me!!
You’ve got this babe!
There’s no pain too small to be acknowledged...
No loss too early to be honored. We are all just trying to get by, doing the best we can. Day in day out. Women are warriors you know. 💕
I memorialized our IVF losses recently and it was so cathartic.
Beautiful. Bold. Brave. Those are the words on repeat.
Infertility is hard. Wanting to be a Momma and not knowing why we keep getting “overlooked” is a cruel reality that I know all to well. NO MATTER THE STAGE.
Technicality doesn’t play into this AT ALL my darling friends.
Read that again.
Had no issues getting pregnant, but can’t seem to stay that way? It’s ok.
Haven’t started IUI OR IVF. It’s ok.
Haven’t decided to finally make that family planning appt? It’s ok.
Want more but feel selfish sharing because you have friends that have none? It’s ok.
Waiting for your babes across the ocean but feel like it’s a pipe dream? It’s ok.
Don’t know if you’ll be a good Mom so you are burying the idea for now but feel the clock ticking? It’s ok.
Choosing adoption, surrogate, or a donor? It’s ok.
Suffered loss over and over but keep getting back up and starting to wonder why? It’s ok.
Infertility ruined your marriage? It’s ok.
Can’t afford treatments? It’s ok.
Want to be the best Aunt around but kids just aren’t for you? It’s ok.
Waiting on...FILL IN YOUR BLANK.
LISTEN GIRL, It’s ok...to grieve each stage. In fact you must.
Grief doesn’t play favorites. Your loss belongs in the same camp as all the others. No matter if you feel it’s not “bad enough”...IT IS.
I’ve been guilty myself of saying “what we went through wasn’t as hard as you...” or “I never heard a heart beat, so it’s not the same”... But the truth is...it is. It all cuts deep. Waking up at 24-34-44 and waiting your turn to be a Mother is a battle that NONE of us prepared for. I see you. I love you. I honor your pain today and everyday. No matter if you’ve gotten your rainbow 🌈 baby or IVF, BFP...or decided that kids aren’t for you.
You matter. Leave that period where it belongs.
Take a moment to celebrate yourself today and your beautiful bodies, your incredible resilience. How you’ve found joy in the journey (because I pray you can) AND let me leave you with this...Please always share your own truth, without apologizing or comparing. Your story matters and you never know how you’ll make an impact, until you let it fly.
You’ve got this babe!
You know that famous Garth Brooks song, The Dance?? I remember soaking up every word as a child. You too? Now as an adult I like to translate that sentiment into my clothing choices.
How about that shirt?? Life motto much??? YASSSS QUEENS 👑...
I’m a sucker for a @target graphic T that represents my life, aren’t you??
The point I’m bringing to you today is this...shorts and T-shirts haven’t been a staple in my closet in a very long time...until NOW y’all. I missed the days where I could casually (and quickly) pick something out, throw it on, and GO.
Here’s the truth...I still don’t feel 💯 in these shorts...I catch myself drifting off into the land of shame wizards and warlocks...and then it happens...I start picking myself apart. I think that part of being human tho...here’s what changed in the last 11 months...
I am equipped with tools to SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN. I like to keep it real here on the gram so it’s important you know I struggle too. Daily. I also want to be clear that it’s taken YEARS of hard work (mentally and physically) to grow to my current human capacity. YEARS...
Because truth is...you can’t skip the struggles, friend. I’ve tried. They follow you wherever you go. I chat with people, about this, all the time and it reminds me I’m not alone and neither are you. I’ve got you. I can handle my truth and your truth...my wish for you...that you can handle your’s too.
Posting pics in shorts on the interwebs don’t come easy y’all...but if you want to get to gettin...you gotta be willing to fail all the LIVE. LONG. DAY. .
You’ve got this boo 😉. Loves. 🥰
Unpopular opinion ahead...
Ever heard that phrase...you shouldn’t hand hold...??? Well here’s the truth...I’m a hand holder. Physically and metaphorically. It’s kind of my super power. I’ve held all kinds of hands over the years and it’s shaped my heart. I make no apologies (anymore, there was a time I was berated for this). Hand holding is a gift that I know not everyone has...but if you are like me, embrace it. Don’t shy away for one more second, ok??
Society cautions against it for many reasons...but we all know I don’t do what society “thinks I should”. Yes, I believe in boundaries and self respect...blah blah...but NO ONE HAS EVER LOST THEIR LIGHT BY SHINING IT FOR OTHERS. (Yes, I’m yelling for the folks in the back).
Anyway, here’s the deal...I believe there is a HUGE difference between hand holding and enabling...doing the hard things must be a personal choice and I do not believe in pushing someone where they are not ready to go...that being said...I will always choose extending my hand over “letting them lay in the bed they’ve made”.
I lost my Dad 5 years ago and ever since we spread his ashes, my mission has been to hold as many hands as possible. Why? Because I’m able. Because I love hard. Because it gives back to me as much as I give. Because it’s how Jesus loves.
Hand holding isn’t about “doing it for them”...it’s about turning on the light in the darkest rooms people have ever sat in. It’s about compassion, love, strength, and togetherness.
Don’t feel alone friend, I’ll hold your hand.
What if I told you...you can find/have your voice...share your passions...and belief system...
W H I L S T welcoming others to have their own?
Listen, I share what I love and believe in...most of you do too, however some don’t more often when they want to...because t r o l l s who try to bring others down.
I’m NOT a fan of unsolicited advice or opinions. I work daily on mastering the art of taking a deep dive into my OWN values, life, happiness...AND it remains very important for me to HEAR and SEE others and cheer them on. Especially when we have different perspectives. In fact you’ll catch me cheering the loudest for many of my people who don’t think like me at all!
Respect isn’t a pipe dream y’all. Respect is possible when you can learn to appreciate that we are all simply humans...trying to survive...and however one decides to live out their dreams, life, next coffee choice is entirely up to them.
You can NOT be interested in what someone has to offer or what choices they make in career, family, children, location, business, school, on and on...AND still respect their heart and zest for life! Yep. You sure can. ❤️
Today I challenge you this...if you find yourself itching to “tell someone how it is”, offer advice that wasn’t directly asked for...or be quick to disregard another because they don’t look like you...try giving that emotion to a higher power. Try taking a deep breath and saying OUT LOUD 3 things YOU are grateful for, instead? Replace that need to “correct” someone with gratitude and encouragement. I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Find your voice. Stand for what you believe in...and NEVER step on anyone’s courageous steps to do so. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made. I hope you know this truth today...and if you do, remind a fellow human how special they are too 💕...
F I N D I N G • Y O U R S E L F
It feels a bit like searching through a library. (See what I did there 😉🤣) You’ll pick up a book, dive right in...only to set it down and forget to pick it back up. Books are incredible. They tell stories and friends your story matters.
We get distracted easily as humans don’t we?? Do we ever really FIND ourselves?? Or are we chasing the next moment that will make us feel alive...only to stumble back and realize that the new has worn off and we are searching all over again to “find ourselves” or “become someone”...
Can you relate?
You know what I’ve learned?? It’s so much less about finding who we are...and SO MUCH MORE about letting go of who we think we are “supposed” to be. Letting go of the plans that didn’t come to pass. It’s shedding the layers of guilt, pressure, opinions, fear, bad choices, disappointments, failure, and lies...peeling them back until our beautiful lights shine as bright as they’ve always been meant to.
The world has a way of shaping your mind if you let it. Never mind all the people in your life (who truly mean well I believe) when they suggest what your life “should” look like. But here’s the truth...you make the rules. You get to be YOU. It’s your right and duty because, there is only one YOU. Your life matters simply because you woke up this morning. You hear me?? 😘
So today, shed a layer...own your story and learn to share it with others. Its uniquely yours and can make more of an impact that you may even realize.
It’s not about becoming...it’s about BEing YOU. I see your light and I love your heart.
9 months living the FASTer Way...and 6 months shouting it from the rooftops as a Certified Coach!
I’m still amazed/surprised at how my body changes week to week (thanks body dysmorphia)...I’ve never tried anything (including the f$&@ it attitude) that has changed my body this way. My hormones are in check, I burn fat for fuel, and I’m NEVER hungry.
Want to know my favorite part of being a coach??? It’s YOUR wins! Watching my clients give themselves grace, celebrate their bodies, and lock this in as a lifestyle brings me so much joy!!!
Listen, I believe in wellness and sustainability, call it what you want...but it’s definitely not a diet...because, in my humble opinion Chicken & Waffles must be a part of my lifestyle. Can I live off it daily?? Maybe (wink emoticon here).
But really it’s about mindset, intentional exercise, whole food nutrition, and not depriving yourself...so you don’t go buck wild after one “bad” food choice (or even week)! You literally can’t fail at this unless you just quit on yourself. Chin up. You’ve got this!
S T R E N G T H...it comes in all shapes and sizes.
Lately I’ve had to dig deep into my reserves people. This season of life has tested me at every turn. If you want to know the truth...I hit rock bottom (again) towards the end of last year. Sure, this wasn’t the first time I found myself in a life I didn’t recognize (cue the shame shitstorm right @brenebrown) but as I wallowed in all my perceived failures, tossed out who I was “supposed” to be...something new started to happen...I began to rise in brand new ways. For the first time I saw a blank slate ahead (instead of a 10 year plan). The fog started to clear and one choice after the other...I could FEEL my joy again. Full disclosure, I still stumble y’all...more often than I’d like but I’m adopting this new idea and failure is part of it all. The falling down matters too. It’s where you learn to heal. It’s where you learn who you ARE! I’m realizing my mindset and how I speak to myself is QUEEN.
So the truth is, it does matter how you fall apart friends, that’s the guts of it all...but the glory is in how you put yourself back together. One piece at a time.
You aren’t broken. You aren’t less than. You aren’t any of those lies you tell yourself.
You are strong...even when you don’t feel like it. It’s hard to drown out the noise sometimes, I see you...but you can.
Getting back up doesn’t really mean you know which way to go or that your next choice will be the “right” one. It is simply choosing to grow and learn through the humility and heartache anyway. One step at a time.
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for...today take a moment and look back at what you’ve survived to sit in this moment today. You are pretty freaking amazing.
Today I’m channeling my inner @jennakutcher so let’s celebrate each other...share with me what makes you feel strong (hint: there are no “right” answers).